Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in a studio in Swansea with Mr. Chris Corcoran.

Ho, ladies and gentlemen / I've / just announced a new feature / it is / 11:30 this morning ... at 11:30 this morning, tune in, you could ... / offended / if you / come back / such / excitement / this launch / Chimp Quiz / チンプ・クイズ / Chimp Quiz is a new feature / Sounds great. / Yeah? / Yeah. / do you know how it works? / No. / I quiz you about chimps / sounds good / and I can tell you right now / will be important. / Wow. / Yeah. / Wow. / prior knowledge necessary? Or is it just / of course / gut feelings / gonna / Chimp Quiz / is important / gonna be important that I know about chimps / it ... in ... yes, / let me put it this way / two contestants / on Chimp Quiz / chimp expert / one of them / newborn child, who __ nothing about chimps / but could speak / chimp expert / Chimp Quiz today / obviously, I think / I know very much about / I / show myself up in this quiz / very much / gut feeling / The point of Chimp Quiz is to expose any gap / understanding about chimps / OK. Fair enough. ... Can / No, you can't / average / why you can't / tell / I know this is a light-hearted gambol through the papers / being a little / are you about to make / serious point / the reason ... the very reason __ Chimp Quiz came about today was, because / during / I was reading __ Daily Express / page / got / PG Tips advert ... / Yeah? / who is finding __ difficult to readjust as a chimp ... / oh, dear / ... because she or he / read / has become too human. / Yeah. I can imagine that / tea bags / it's a sad sad story / can't get __ __ ape / no / No? / she keep shifting the furniture / put / piano __ ... __ next thing you know, she's upstairs / it's a ... a light-hearted gambol / through / I haven't read the story / it's not funny, we shouldn't be doing this / sort / laughing because we shouldn't laugh / re-adjust / can't / beause we have abused it / yeah / I mean / we shouldn't be doing this with animals / chimp board / it / chimp / drive, can they? They can't __ pianos. It was clever__-edited / I think ... I / the last thing this chimp / needs / you questioning / amongst / sorry. ... OK, fine. / they you're calling __ a lier. / 人間の都合で働かされたチンパンジーを、今度は嘘つき呼ばわりするのか。心ないことをするな。

about / well / debate / Huh huh / kicked off today / so vibrantly / let's revisit it. / Basically, often ... on a Saturday morning, I __ tuna sandwich / breakfast / and often / always when you do / always when I do / Korkey / eating tuna too early / I thought / all my notes and stuff today / got / loads / just in case / need / today, so / feature / what about this? / when / too early / ever too early / tuna / the earliest / Lunch time. / I don't think / 12:30 / half past 8 in the morning / I know you would. This is __ debate / it's not / breakfast fish / I'm not sure / you see / tuna, herring, haddock / Not tuna. / Uh, sorry, salmon, herring, haddock / salmon / haddock and poached egg. That's not __ breakfast in your eyes / no / kippers and poached egg / if it's / breakfast / fair enough / I / ever / had / breakfast / haddock / I accept / you're wrong / you're wrong there / yeah ... yeah, I might be. I might be / I'm not saying / I'm not saying / in the same way / chimps / about / chimp / before / tuna is a lunch fish / sea bass / evening / dinner. Yeah. / evening / it is / or a posh lunch / could go out for a proper meal / with / hit me with some fish / hit you with two fish off the top of my head ... / OK. / ... that straddle / and evening / one cod / no / yes / evening / cod / yeah / you wouldn't have / cod and chips for lunch / main meal for me / that's like / lunch is a main meal / not necessarily / main meal / definitely / lunch / yeah, OK. / well, can be, yeah / Right. So, cod straddles __ two meals / got / main meal of the day / tea / in the evening / yeah / accept / if / cod / lunch / I have three meals / bad example / tuna / breakfast / you are the weirdo / you're the weirdo. / only have cod and chips / lunch / if tea is ... what? / cod / for lunch / small evening / yeah / Yes. So, dinner and lunch are interchangeable / then / like tea / light lunch. See what I mean? / I imagine / combination of / three different types out there / three groups of people / yeah / one of ... / first group / asleep / second / turning off the radio / third are going / off his head. What? / third group are going, / tea / what / know / massively / email in / that was / group three / I'm not having that / All right. OK. / and I've got __ fish here / coming up / Chimp Quiz / got / before / I ... I know / fish / straddle all three meals / OK / slightly different preparation of it / salmon could. / salmon could straddle / Salmon could, yeah / is that / say? / haddock / prepared / be convinced on / one fish / only, possibly / eaten / lunch / Yeah. ... Tuna. / Sardine. / you could / all right, yeah, yeah / have / absolutely determined to / back / tuna / breakfast fish / fine / here's my ... here's my contender for lunch-only / Shoot. / feel free to challenge / anyone / I've said too much / Chimp Quiz, ladies and gentlemen / Oh, is this it? / time for / too much / all in one go / keep / OK / yeah / this is Chimp Quiz / very sad story / Daily Express / about, uh ... / chimp / PG Tips / readjusting after that / awful and sad / it's horrible / anyway / on the back / just / quiz I thought about chimps / yeah / any gaps / knowledge / understanding / Question 1: Chimps share how much __ DNA __ as a percentage / チンパンジーとヒトが共有している DNA の割合は？ / humans / how much / 98% / Yes. / Ho ho ! / One. 1 point. / Really? / Yeah. / yes / One. 1 point. Yeah. / question / Rhod Gilbert / David Beckham / if we share 98% / DNA with chimps, how come I don't like bananas? / an adult chimp / when / yeah, / how tall is he? / 大人のチンパンジーの、立ち上がった状態での背丈は？ / five / six / feet to head / of course / reaching above his head / chimp / slam-dunking a basket ball, does it? / first / five / it's between four foot and five foot five / feet / and a half feet / five / six / yeah / give me that / give you that in the spirit of it. / In the spirit of Chimp Quiz? / first / ladies and gentlemen / next / professional / we are having / next week / Chimp Quiz / anybody out there / yes, we are / radio challenge / I'm doing well / OK / how many questions / blanks / ok / walk upright / all [blank] ... / all fours / Yes, yes. / three / yeah, but / no / that's / first half / two-parter / parter / both parts / walking on all four / chimps / what is that known as? / sort of / no / no / Oh ... OK. OK. __ I'm sensing a hole in my chimp knowledge / there's a gap in your knowledge / chimp knowledge / on all fours / what is that called / no / OK. OK. Are they ... uh ... are they meandering? Do they / Meandering? / That's not right, is it? / no / tell / wasn't a bad guess / give / galloping. Do they gallop? I know horses gallop. Do they ... do they gallop? / going / crow as well / after a crow / カラスを追いかける

Chimp Quiz ! / definitely more ... it's parrot ... too parroty. / Very parroty, isn't it? / funny / chimp / sound / like a m__ drinking __. / Wow. / Other tropical beverages available / You sound like a crow gargling gravel ... / ... I know / just / normal / before / chimp impression. ... Uh ... / Shoot. / well, we are in the middle of / second / first / stand / normally / fours / correct bit / Yeah / but, I was teasing / that / you've gotta give me the name / what / known as / on all four / are ... / you are bending over / you / quad / we / low budget here, but five, four, three, two / no / I don't ... I don't know. / Knuckle-walking. No point. / No way. / No point. / yeah / wow / chimps eat mainly ... / Yeah, / ... fruit ... / Huh huh, / ... and plants / yeah. I know / what else would a chimp eat? / Termites. Insects. / they / sticks / they / termites are so stupid they climb on the stick / get on it / in his mouth / like / some grass / seeds on it / was / never / bully / right / I / never / don't do that at home, ladies and gentlemen / that is the tactics of a bully / long / full / corns / friend's mouth / yeah / anyway, that / the point / three parts to this question / insect is one. You / they do / put / little / into the termite mound / ant lollipop / evidence to prove that / chimps / they use tools / kinds stuff / next / even more impressive / also insects / do I need to get / do I need to get / all three / point / right / No. You get one point for each / Oh. Supurb / insect / they eat ... uh ... / second one is even / tool's point of view / incredible / they, um ... / so, hang on / basic tools / chimps use / Chimp Quiz ! / uh ... do they ... / Just filling. ... / do they use sort of ... / oh, I know. Nuts / stone / must / quite soft / nuts / no? / No. / huh, uh, that's a disappointment. I really thought / did / could you give me a clue? / uh ... we talked / about / this morning / tuna / no / breakfast fish? / grilled sea bass / that is / impressive / tool / kitchen appliance / さすがはチンパンジー。道具を使うことができる。台所の道具を使って魚を焼くことができる。 / haddock / your mouth / need / egg cup / poacher / a little bit of cling film / frying pan / cook in a bowl / salt and pepper mill__ / true / that is impressive / didn't get that / the last one is / ok / food / small ... small creatures / small warm-blooded creatures. Worms / I'm gonna give you small / because / meat / Chimp Quiz. You're now on / 4 points / come / after New Order, True Faith.

next question / are chimps monkeys or apes? / Buzzzz. / right / 5 points in total / yeah / doing well / last / 11:30 / will be Chimp Quiz / co-host / leader board / Twitter feed / life is so deprived / now / here it comes. Let me / your last chance / score / lead / chimps / what is this ... / chimps live in communities / correct / don't try __ tip a table / chimp / quiz / throw your bananas / tip / table / violent version of tuning / table / chimp / this isn't / I hear that / chimps / stuff / the other day / allegedly / I don't know if it's true / no / shouldn't / banana / because / because we've / such / intensive agriculture / for / monkey / things / equivalent of ... uh ... / bag of f__ / all / suger / sort of / you are the wrong person / I can't see anybody beating / know about them / I'm surprised / myself / chaffed / compared to / actually, genuinely quite chaffed / you've got five out of / maximum / eight or nine / seven / no, no, no / knuckle-walking wrong / Yeah. And, uh ... / you didn't / eggs / wrong / salmon / it is five / seven / really hard / too competitive / Tom Wrigglesworth will be good on Chimp Quiz / tell / tell / chimp / almost / really hot / Chimp Quiz / Lloyd Langford / Of course. / he's bright / well / plus / chimpy / imagine / he shares 99% of DNA / ロイドはチンプ・クイズが得意に違いない。ヤツは DNA の 99% がチンパンジーだから。

Chimps live in communities ... / yes / of between what and what number of animals / between / chimp community / range / between / how / 120 chimps / between 50 and 120 / you are on / five out of a maximum / eight

hope / ladies and gentlemen / every morning / during / Rhod's Coffee Morning / is / from now on / Korkey / maximum / just to be clear, going forward / chimp / score / five / first / next week I'm not sure / show / who / with / time to tune in / I'd love to / another / Chimp Quiz / came / come / great / top gear / weather is different / when / heat is off / very hot in here / normal room temperature / see if your brain works differently / two / podsasts / missing out on something / waiting to be able to listen to the whole show / after / fish / different meals / I just wanted to thank you / rest / anything at all. / then / you have a go at us / you have a go at us / don't / little / give yourself away / also / evening meal / Korkey's right / Korkey's right / got sucked right in, David / admit it / David / evening / fish / c__ / lunch time only / truth about tuna / truth about a lot of things / email / short / in my house at the moment / go / touch / pronounced / short of / at the moment / more / email / there is / although, to be honest / stop / better / a bit short of sandwich / mentioning tuna sandwiches / thinking about making one / small world / fine / midday / done by / happy now / happy / uh ... "I said that sounded nice / make one for both of us / nice / good / so your mom said / you said / yes / have / email of the week / function like this around lunch / mind you / 11 / breakfast time / whenever / might be / breakfast fish / you can't / you know / possibly / most complicated / on radio / Chimp Quiz ! / yeah / text from / ex-Welsh Rugby International / really enjoying Chimp Quiz / I think / tell / one positive listener feedback / show / come / back / on the leader board / text / email / do / know / tragically / genuinely / chaffed / you / performance / genuinely quite impressed / on the subject of chimps / here we go. / Here we go. / could you / explain / if we come from chimps / why / still / 我々がチンパンジーから進化したのだとしたら、チンパンジーはなぜいまだにチンパンジーなのですか？ / great / thank / let / Korkey / staggering 5 out of 8 / little / expert / the answer to your question is / lazy versions of us / thing / just / yeah / complicate things / put / good luck to / 彼らは我々の怠惰バージョンなんだよ。だから進化とか面倒なことはしなかった。

nice one here / look / in my eyes / tuna / any / I'd explain / back in the 80's / god / when I started / work / young, naive 17 year old / told / those / lunch / three / every day / same tuna sandwich / why / own sandwiches / mom / make / 17 / mom / can I have / different / young / lazy / good-for-nothing ... s__ing / 17 year old / tell / make your own sandwich / same / since / stomach / what you should have done is / sick / something / continually ate them / life / your mother / please can I have a different sandwich / tuna / prawn / breakfast / madness / I think / colleague / Chris ... Mr. / five out of eight / Chimp Quiz

@rhodgilbertshow / presumably / limitations of when to eat what / own / well / totally / anything is fair game to eat / any time / in my book / in Cardiff / you are off the hook, my friend. ... This is my favorite email / ready / OK / yes / pointed out / own doing / ourselves / posing these rather senseless and a__ rules / can / can't eat what / yeah / "Hi Rhod ..." / favorite / day / I don't know why / like / Cardiff / you've won, uh ... nothing. / email of the day / text, actually / haddock / fish / poached egg / as fish cakes for lunch / ... Yes. / like / now / runs out of recipes / 色んな料理に使えるって言っておきながらレシピはこれだけかよ / and you could have / for tea as well / come / haddock / tea / have / fish cake / tea / Frank ... god bless you / I suggest something, Frank / because / every night / have / haddock and chips / put __ in b__ / bread crumbs / listening / chimp / probably / pass my exam / show is hilarious / glad / exam / chimpology, / yeah / by the way, ladies and gentlemen, / massive / generally / know nothing / me / things like / hear / quite often wrong / actually incorrect / if you want / knock / don't do that at home / wrong about that / by / means / equasion / not / very much / breakfast / seafood / question / very much / why you wrote us / really / know / all / when it comes to / bread / help / evening haddock recipes.

If you enjoyed that, why don't you listen to the whole show? Rhod Gilbert / live / bbc / 11 till 1.

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